Maybe you know her, maybe you are her. Meet Brenda, or as she’s currently known to her friends, Bridezilla. She’s getting married to Ben in 6 weeks. Ben’s quite looking forward to being married, and hopes it all goes off ok, but is a bit worried because to be honest, this wedding is taking over Brenda to the extent that he is not quite sure what she’s done with his girlfriend. There are 300 guests invited, 100 from her side, 100 from his and 100 of their joint friends (who are really mostly hers). She knows this because she is tracking them all on a spreadsheet. Today is a little triumph as she has finally tracked down on ebay 1000 napkins in the exact shade of apricot as the bridesmaids’ dresses. She has eaten one extra square of dark chocolate to celebrate and will run 100 metres extra so no additional weight will be gained. She has emailed Ben to remind him to forward his speech to her for approval and proofreading. She has also reminded the best man several times, but is still awaiting a response.
The venue for the reception is on her speed dial and they now know to pick up by the third ring. The long range weather forecast is looking good, but is, as yet, a little vague.
Her parents are, of course, suitably preparing for the day, and she has convinced her mother to wear the fascinator after all. Her 7 bridesmaids are looking forward to the hen weekend, the pampering, the spray tans and the bff bonding.
Brenda’s wedding day goes as the saying goes, without a hitch. Appropriate amounts of smiles and tears all round.The Seychelles was utterly idyllic and this time the tan was real. As soon as the honeymoon suitcases were unpacked, Brenda was making plans and taking temperatures and setting about getting pregnant.
Three months behind schedule, she succeeds. It would be the wrong time of year for buggy boot camp in the park, but nevertheless, she is delighted. She sets about devouring every book, app and website she can lay her hands on. Her obstetrician is now on speed dial, her monthly ultrasound scans are in a frame beside her wedding pictures. Brenda has Ben painting the nursery (primrose yellow) and assembling the cot at 20 weeks. Her weight gain, tracked with a pregnancy app, is well within normal limits, and she studiously avoids alcohol, stress, sushi and mayonnaise. The car is filled with petrol at all times and the route to hospital plotted at rush hour periods as well as after midnight.
Brenda is ready to have her baby.